In Life/Work direction, my most recent exercise (which has taken several weeks thus far) has been to tell five stories of times when I have felt most happy and/or fulfilled, look at the qualities my counselors heard in those stories, and organize their feedback into general themes that are true about my life.

The biggest overarching theme has been around connectedness (systems and connections), but here are all the things that these stories have told me, along with illustrative examples of the feedback that fit into those categories. What do you think?

I enjoy being a part of a larger process
I enjoy the role of facilitator; It’s satisfying to play a part in coordinating a complicated large group feat; When others help it keeps it fun
I understand systems
I track beneath the surface of the game to explore its design; I enjoy testing my understanding of laws through applying them to solve riddles; I appreciate being given a structure to work with (rather than coming up with it myself
I am part of a larger story
I imagine into/look for my place, my part in the larger world; I like feeling a part of a bigger tradition; I work off of Jesus’ life
I bring people together
I try to bring disparate groups together; I am drawn in by connections
I solve puzzles
I am interested in the broad strokes and patterns that tie Old & New Testament together; I enjoy solving puzzles
I am motivated by a good process
Accountability helps me maintain momentum; I want my time used efficiently/well; I can work with a routine and enjoy its benefits (simplicity that enables personal presence)
I ask questions
I enjoy the Socratic method of teaching—leading through questioning; I respond well to discreet, well bounded risk taking
I pursue holiness
I am compelled by the pursuit of honor; The truth of the study calls me deeper with Jesus
I value written words
It’s important to me to write (right) out my words; To abandon my written words abandons the work I did on it
I explore cultures
I study the ways of different cultures; Curiosity and imagination allow me to be fully occupied when alone
In general, no big surprises here. Despite my introverted nature, I’ve always enjoyed being part of and/or facilitating a team effort.  I don’t like to be the person who calls the shots…  but I like being the power behind the throne.  ;)

One thing that was helpful for me to realize is that I’m motivated by a “good” process.  I like it when I have a way of telling whether or not I’m doing a good job, whether that’s self checking or if that’s someone telling me.  Probably I’m happiest when I know myself whether or not I’m doing a good job, but that takes a great deal of knowledge over the subject matter.  A good example of that is Mark Study: I don’t need an external party to tell me whether or not I’m doing a good job…  I have a pretty good sense of it because I’ve led it so many times before.

Of course in my current work, I have no clue what my job actually is, let alone whether I’m any good at it, hence much of my frustration with myself and my work environment.  The difficulty is that in a start-up, there may never be a way for me to really know whether or not I’m doing a good job…  so the trick will be to find ways to measure myself in spite of that.  :P

The other thing that I find helpful is that this is very focused on the things that I like, and not the things that I don’t like.  I have a tendency to want to avoid things that I don’t like and will consider myself satisfied if I’m “free of pain.“  It seems much more helpful, however, to strive for the things that I do enjoy…  and if there’s a little pain in there, I’ll probably still end up happier.

The question they asked me to think about for this week is which of these areas are currently most strongly developed in my life/work…  and which ones are missing?

At work, I’m definitely part of a system (albeit one that’s a bit thrown together).  Other people do things I can’t, don’t want to, or don’t have time for.  I have a decent grasp of the rules of the game, and can contribute effectively to the team.  I increasingly find the freedom to ask questions and challenge the status quo.

In my personal life…  I don’t know, actually.  I’m not really pursuing any of these things that I really enjoy.  In particular, I’m not necessarily pursuing them with T.  In some ways I very much feel that T and I are part of a larger story, but I don’t think we really know what the end of the story is, let alone where the next few chapters may lead.  I also note a particular absence of bringing people together, reading/writing, and exploring cultures.

In both work and personal life, I don’t really have a good way to measure “how I’m doing.“  Perhaps that is what contributes the most to my sense of anxiety…  I don’t know the score, so I always feel like I’m a little behind.

Hmm…  All helpful insights, but how will this help me figure out next steps in my life/work/career?  God?  A little help?  ;)